Life with Oswald Cobblepot
by charizardrider21
Summary: How did you end up with this man? And where will he take you? Only time will tell.
1. Preface

You're not sure how you ended up here. With someone else, maybe, but not him. Sure, you've seen worse, probably been with worse. Still, something about him rubbed you the wrong way, even if he could also rub you the right way.

You'd like to think that he changes when he's with you. That his crazed eyes are calmed as they look over your features, that the hands he uses to take likes can also take your breath away, that his mess of a mind can be clear when he's with you…but you'd be lying to yourself. His eyes are always wide, his fingers always trembling, his head always filled with insanity.

Once, you asked him what you were to him. He gave you his signature smirk and stated plainly "A stress releaser, my dear. A toy for me." What were you hoping for? You brushed it off and never brought it up again.

Still…his lips lingered too long when he kissed you. His hands, as shaky as they were, pulled you closer to him. Maybe when he said that he was teasing, denying, or even lying about any affections he might have for you. Anything is possible with that madman.

His madness was both strangely attractive and rightfully terrifying. He's shouting about Fish and Falcone one minute and kissing you roughly the next. And in a moment, he might be gone. You can never know what's going on, never predict what he'll do. He's dangerous and volatile, like a chemical experiment that could cure a disease or kill the entire laboratory with every additional ingredient.

But you like it. Life is more exciting with him in it. He's a pretty good guy, for a murderer, anyway. He's also incredibly funny. He can have you rolling and roaring with laughter when he starts doing his impersonations of mob bosses or detectives. "Who am I?" he'd test playfully as he put on a serious face and stated talking about justice. You can always guess who he's making fun of, since you listen to him rant about everyone on an almost daily basis. You tell him he should be a comedian; he assures you that he has bigger plans.

You just smile and nod. You have faith in him, whatever he's doing. He'll do what he says. He's Gotham's future. And maybe, just maybe, he'll let you be his.


	2. Ch1 What a creep

_What a creep._

That was the first thing you ever consciously thought about him. You had always seen him with Fish, lurking around. Then when you were having a smoke outside in the alley, you witness him beating a man mercilessly. You make a face like you smell something rotten.

_What's a lackey like him doing dirty work for?_ He had asked if he could help the bruisers. _What a sicko._ You quickly turn away. You don't want to be the next victim, someone who saw too much. You inhale the smoky poison into your lungs and blow it out through your pursed lips. Taking one last puff, you glace behind you before heading back into the club. When you look, a pair of icy eyes are staring you. Below them, a sly smirk. It sent chills down your spine.

_What a creep._

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry you had to see that," says a voice behind you. You tense up immediately. You know the voice.<p>

"Oswald," you chime, forcing a smile as you turn to face him. You'd been wiping tables with a towel. "I don't know what you're talking about."

His mouth twisted up even more. "You know my name, I'm surprised. A little delighted, even."

"Why wouldn't I? You're Miss Mooney's pet. Everyone knows you." Now you, you're just a server. But you're content with that. It's a well-paying job, and if you play dumb and pretend you don't hear anything but orders, it's safe.

"More like a slave," he laughs. "Fish doesn't actually like me all that much. There's nothing going on between us."

You scoff. "That's no one's business but yours and hers. Besides, why would you deny it? That's something to brag about, really. You're higher than most."

"Oh, I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. Let's be honest with each other." Smirk.

You throw your towel down angrily. "Honestly, I hate that stupid, sick smile you always have on your face. Like you know something no one else does. I get the urge to knock your teeth out every time I see it, but I don't because I don't hit people for _no reason_." You spit the last two words, knowing he's not stupid enough to miss the hint.

His eyebrows raise and the smile drops from his face. He looks concerned more than offended. "Well, honestly, dear, I find myself rather fond of yours. It's so innocent and pure. Your genuine smile, the one you give sincerely." He put his thumb and index finger on either side of your chin lightly. "But, actually…I think I like the one you give me more. The one with hidden spite and fire." He pulls you in, his mouth close to your ear. He said softly, like he was telling you a secret, "Just like mine."

With that, he draws back, his face serious. He looks at you with his cool gaze, then casually strides away, leaving you shaking with both anger and fear.


	3. Ch2 Snitch

_This comedian sucks,_ you think as Miss Mooney continues to cackle. You can't believe how much she's laughing because of this clown. What a joke. And not a good one.

You're putting away the glasses from last night on the shelves behind the bar. There's no one here yet, just you, Miss Mooney, Oswald, a single guard, and that horrible comedian. You're the only server, besides Oswald, who's serving drinks to his master. You like coming in early because the money was great. The empty time is when business deals happen. The more you hear, the more you're paid to pretend to be deaf.

The phone rings. "Yeah…put him on." The conversation continues. It doesn't sound like it's going well. You see her glance back at Oswald. Oh, no, what did he do? "That son of a bitch just threatened me! You hang him up with his partner!"

_Fish is killing two more people,_ you realize. Hopefully they will be the end to this string of murders.

She waves her hand, signaling a need for a refill. Oswald complied immediately. "Bless your heart…be a dear and…rub my feet." Again he complies.

She rambles about Falcone for a while, but you're too busy watching Oswald cautiously. You saw the way she looked at him. He did something, and he's about to pay for it. He just doesn't realize it yet.

"You're like a son to me, you know that Oswald?" she says in a condescending tone. He agrees happily. Does he really not know? He's been caught. To what extent is he going to keep trying to hide his lie? You stare at him intently trying to warn him somehow.

Then, you sigh and turn your eyes away, understanding that it makes no difference. He did whatever he did, and telling the truth now isn't going to help him at all.

"It was you." Fish stated. "YOU snitched to the MCU."

You gasp. _A snitch? He's a snitch?!_ That's big, very big. And this wasn't just a little slip about a beating or burglary, he talked to the police about a murder.

The next thing you know, Oswald is on the floor with a shattered chair on him, and Fish was smashing a chair leg into his. You stare in shock.

Fish twists to look at you menacingly. "YOU, get rope to tie this snitch up." You stand there, not able to move your body. "Do you want to join him?!" Shaking your head, you turn to go to the back and frantically search for rope.

_Fish has never been this angry before. She's never lost her temper when innocents like me and the comedian were around. She'd always dismiss us first. She doesn't like witnesses._ Horrified, your mind is racing. _She broke his knees. That's some hardcore shit there. He won't walk normally ever again. But, surely this is it. It'll end here, right? _Hopeful, you find a coil of rope and bring it out to Fish.

"Tie him up for me, honey," she commands you. "That rope is too hard on my delicate hands."

You look at her, wide-eyed. "I…I don't know how…" The words stumble out of your mouth.

She walks up to you, glaring at you. "Just do it so he can't get out." Then, she walks out of the room, leaving you alone with him.

Not knowing what else you could do, you start to tie him up while he's still reeling from the chair to the face. You tie his hands behind him as he starts to regain his ability to speak.

"You should let me go," he pleaded. "I can tell you're a good girl. You've never tied anyone up before. You've never even seen anyone get hit before, have you? You're such a good girl."

"Shut up!" you yell, on the verge of tears. "Of course I've seen it, I work _here._ I'm used to this kind of thing."

"Keep telling yourself that, but I see your white face and watery eyes. You're terrified. You don't want to do this. You don't want anyone to get hurt. That's why you should let me go."

"And be killed in your place?! How stupid do you think I am?"

"Then come with me, I'll protect you!"

"_Liar._ You only care about yourself." Finishing up, you stand to look down on him. "Besides, I like living a safe, simple life, which _you_ have now endangered. I'm involved now, and it's _your_ fault. I'm a waitress, I'm not supposed to be tying a snitch up before he goes to slaughter. You think I like looking at a man that's going to be dead tomorrow?" You're still on the verge of crying. He will be dead tomorrow. This man that always pestered you, downright violated you, is going to die. As much as you don't like him, you hate the idea of murder even more. It's hard wrapping your mind around the fact that, in just a few hours, Oswald would draw his last breath as a bullet was put in his head, if he was lucky.

Soon enough, the guard comes to relieve you of your position looking after Oswald. You look at him one last time. His nose is bleeding, his eyes begging you to help him escape. Turning and starting to walk away, you say one last thing to him.

"Goodbye, Oswald."


	4. Ch3 Clean Hands

Days later, Oswald's terrified face still hovers behind your eyes. Your hands are shaking, and any time anyone makes a sudden movement around you, you flinch. You try to keep it under control, but people notice.

"You seem on edge, honey," Miss Mooney says to you, her arm wrapped around your shoulder. "You wanna tell mama what's wrong?"

You shake your head and give her a smile that you hope convinces her. "I'm fine, Miss Mooney."

She clicks her tongue. "I'm good at picking stuff up. There's something goin' on." You reply with silence. "You were scared, weren't you? The other day with Oswald. You've never seen anything like that, have you?"

She hit the nail on the head. "No, I haven't…He's dead, isn't he?"

Fish sighed. "I'm not going to lie to you. Yes, he's dead. He betrayed me, so he had to be punished. Did you like him?" You shrug. You didn't, but you don't feel like saying it. "You didn't, but why are you so bothered by his death?"

"I've never known anyone that's been killed before."

"And you're nervous because you're a witness." You nod. "You're such a good girl." _Good girl. That's what he said, too. _You agree again. "You're a simple girl. You like safety." You still don't say anything. "Listen, I like you, so I'm going to do you a favor. I'll get you a nice job in a nice place. You like waitressing? Or is there something else you want to do?"

You look at Miss Mooney, not quite realizing the proposition that lay in front of you. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she started, "you want to be safe, I'm giving you safety. You can wash your hands clean and be free. You'll never have to worry about seeing something like that again, and I'll protect you from anyone that might want to hurt you." She looks you in the eye, suddenly a little bit frightening instead of comforting. "All I ask is your silence, nothing else. Because you know what will happen if you talk."

Wide eyed, you nodded. "Thank you so much, Miss Mooney. I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, honey. Remember, you never worked here."

* * *

><p>Thank you to everyone that followedfavourited/reviewed this story. I really appreciate it :) There's still a lot more to come!


	5. Ch4 Dead Man Waddling

Miss Mooney got you a job at a busy Italian restaurant that another one of Falcone's top men run. You're a waitress again. A simple, safe, and very content waitress, with no connection to the mob, no memory of a man named Oswald Cobblepot. You can smile at your coworkers and clients without worry, you sigh after a long day of work. You're new, but get along with everyone. You're used to waitressing, so you fit in nicely.

It's a good job. A little less pay but also a lot less risk. You call it a win. You've just gotten settled in and over the shock of your last occupation when a familiar face limps in, asking for a job at the very same place.

You excuse yourself to the bathroom and lock yourself in a stall. _It's not him,_ you tell yourself. _He's dead. Oswald is dead. Fish killed him._ Deep breath. Calm down. Go back out and help your customers. They're probably wondering where you are.

You walk out of the bathroom and into someone. "I'm sor-" Your apology was cut short by a gasp. Those icy eyes meet yours. That smirk below it.

"Hello!" he greeted cheerily. "How wonderful to see you again!" You stand with your mouth hanging open. His face dropped. "What, no 'Hello!'? No, 'Hey, Oswald, you're alive! How's it going?'"

"I-I have to work," you manage and push past him.

"Alright, see you later!"

* * *

><p>Six o'clock rolls around, and you hang up your apron, say goodbye to your coworkers, and head out the back of the restaurant.<p>

"Hello again!"

"OhmyGOD" you scream as your heart almost leaps out of your chest. "Oswald," you breathe.

He stands with his arms out in a _tadah!_ kind of gesture. "In the flesh!"

"You're dead!"

"Am I?" He snickers. "I wasn't aware of that. Boy, I wish someone would have told me." He waddles up to you. "No, I was pardoned by a kind saint. Although, he told me to never return to Gotham...but Gotham is my home, so here I am!" He smiles and holds his hand out to you. Not to take, just a gesture he always does. "I'm not supposed to be alive, so let's keep this our little secret, alright?" You don't know how to respond, so you only stand there with confusion twisting your face. "This alley is no place to have a friendly reunion. Come, let's go somewhere else. I'll pay. I recently came into some money."

"No thank you," you decline. "I'd rather not." You try to walk casually towards the street, praying for this conversation to end.

"Oh, but I would _love_ to know why you're not working for Fish anymore. She must like you, getting you into a place like this."

"Shut _up!_" you whisper harshly, rushing back over to him again. "No one here knows that and I'd like to keep it that way."

"So we both have secrets to keep…I suppose we have an agreement then? We both keep quiet about each other. Have each other's backs, so to say."

You scowl. "I _do not and will not_ have your back. I'll shut my mouth unless I'm asked. I'm not putting my life on the line for you."

Smile. "That's good enough for now," he says and hobbles into the alley. Just before he rounds the corner, you hear him mutter to himself, "Such a good girl."


End file.
